#I get the point of Radfems

[inkskinned]

the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.

women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.

what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.

i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.

fuck, man. write better material.

a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.

god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.

this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.

we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.

i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -

it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.

[mysticalcoffeequeen]

The term Karen refers to a Middle-Aged (entitled) White Woman who publicly overreacts often to the point of hostility over what is essentially a small inconvenience. Examples range from a coffee order missing one ingredient to calling the police on a POC for simply sitting on a park bench in her neighborhood. Karen’s behavior is one of selfish outrage, condescending, entitled & cruel towards others who have done very little to nothing to provoke such behavior. Even when angered, those with base maturity know when confronted with rejection, to swallow their pride and handle it differently, but Karen’s are a category of prideful mentally immature adults who do not take well to getting anything but their own way and avoid accountability for the very real harm they cause to others as a result of being confronted with a simple “no”! So there she stands, overwhelmed & throwing a tantrum that she is the one who been extremely wronged and abused in the situation that she should be owed an apology for, & not the barista or POC who’s day she ruined because of something she really could have simply left alone.

This is not about female hysteria as a whole. That topic has been tackled in things like women under extreme stress, have an unchecked mental illness, or postpartum psychosis. This is not about standing up for one’s-self or silencing women, as being vocal while demonized has been the topic of “angry black/brown woman” discussions as well as discussions about women setting basic boundaries. This is not about slurs either, collectively we have been called a lot of things if not worse to this day. “Karen” is a mindset and one carried by a distinct group of people who have been told, convinced & assured that they are superior, exceptions are to be made for them and those they deem socially inferior should adhere to their rules without question!

Gotta say though reading “Karen is a slur that carries major cultural implications” is a pretty wild & hilarious take as its basically in line with what a Karen would say.

Can we talk about the blatant misogyny behind the "Karen"- trend again?

Women are attacking each other with a random female name, designed to indicate there's literal modern female hysteria being portraited by a another woman, sometimes older one who's being "overly dramatic & assertive" about things that supposedly shouldn't matter. What's a more genius way to silence women further than a comedic spectacle shaming them collectively with a term synonymous to 'overreacting crazy woman'?

Males are exhilarated over this, they create masses of accounts dedicated to "Karen fails" where they film women of all ages and backgrounds standing up for themselves often if not always nonconsensually. This is all to feed their hatred of women. They specifically seek it to feed those emotions through those pages.

Everyone using this term for whatever context now, is perpetuating and normalizing this phenomenon as acceptable, normal content to consume AND CREATE. By accepting this usage we're differentiating ourselves from other girls and women saying we're not like the crazy women, we're sane like men.

Girls, think again the next time you're beefing with each other, because this dumpsterfire of a phenomenon is a slur that has MAJOR cultural implications for all of our rights and the ability to be heard. We've all already witnessed the power memes and internet slander has, overpowering even the actual laws. Let's not make this the next 'bitch' & have our granddaughters have to reclaim the language.

[aishabellasbigblogofeverything]

I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.

[karl-marxs-lil-pogchamp]

goddamn being biologically female really is like a lifetime prison sentence without a chance for parole isn't it

[rad-claid-plaid]

I think that most men who are "financially clueless" and just go "oopsie sorry I know we had rent to pay but I just dropped $1500 on a new toy I wanted. It's your job to figure it out" aren't really financially illiterate. They seem to do that knowing fully that they don't have the financial means to do it, but then just demand the woman in their life fixes it.

He's saying, "I made a decision. I expect you to fix this by suffering yourself." So the woman goes without healthcare or food for herself and her children to try to fix the finances. If she complains, then it's *her* fault for not budgeting better or making sure he is aware of the finances (spoiler alert, he's well aware, he just doesn't care). She's expected to sell her jewelry or her car to keep the house, just because he wanted a toy. It's another shade of financial control.

[femalecel]

[mishkakagehishka]

Feminism lost its teeth since capitalism and the patriarchy co-opted it let's be real. But nobody wants to think about how being a feminist (and feeling """morally superior""") is much easier when you can say every choice you make is a feminist choice bc you're a woman than if you actually had to change your lifestyle in a way that goes against society and its expectations/norms to actually fight against the patriarchy.

[sammygender]

anyway from the tags on that post some of u guys seem to think the problem with radfems is the feminist part and not the transphobia part

[rpfofficial]

all r-dfem blogs on here are always posting 3 things: a) most vitriolic disgusting display of shaming people for how they look which almost always implicitly or explicitly aligns with some kind of eugenics or racism, b) how everyone who isnt them or disagrees with them is stupid or misguided or has no hope left for them, and c) how lonely and isolated they feel all the time . I wonder when they will join the dots

[babybabymerrychristmas]

oh my god i just remembered that a terf on here tried to argue with me about my sources because i told her that it's literally in my history textbooks that white people didn't view black men and women as men and women with and i quote "omg you're using a college textbook like we don't already know how racist white people write those textbooks" yes babe, that's the point!

if racist white people are ADMITTING to not viewing black people as men and women in their history textbooks, you know they really did that shit. like??????? how are white people writing textbooks about white history saying "yeah our bad we definitely excluded black women from womanhood in order to keep slavery in power for hundreds of years" not directly proving my fucking point you fucking dumb ass cunt.

[dyed-indigo]

i swear why am i always so compelled to spend like an hour composing an excessively polite anon ask to send to people i don't agree with... like i'm not going to meaningfully change their viewpoint. idk.

[girloodle]

Mmmm okay I'd rather team up with a woman who wears makeup but organizes with women and outwardly spreads a pro female message than a person who hides behind an anonymous blog while demanding ideological purity from other women and feminists.

Jesus fucking christ. I'm fucking tired. I haven't worn makeup in like 4 years out of political and laziness reasons, and I'm still fucking sick of this shit.

It doesn't have to be a choice between admitting makeup is anti feminist OR accepting women who wear makeup can play an active role in female liberation. Fuck this community is embarrassing sometimes.

[cakemoney]

i don't want to put my uninformed foot in my mouth or get involved with the Discourse but i've been seeing the two extremes of reactions to the korean low birth rates issue (on tumblr and twitter both) and i'm just kind of like. look. i feel like "low birth rates (in many countries but especially japan and korea as part of this conversation) are more broadly the result of capitalism/a culture of overwhelming overwork that makes social relationships and having families incredibly inaccessible to young people" and "low birth rates are very much a part of the current conversation about misogyny and social expectations for women in korea especially in the context of reproduction as 'unpaid labor' for women" are statements that can both be true

[matoitech]

ppl on here r always talking about how they’re not allowed to complain about men anymore but there’s not a whole lot of acknowledgement that this website is infested with transphobes particularly of the fascist variety and a lot of posts about gender and ‘feminism’ on here r total bull. like idk call me crazy but maybe there’s a reason trans people r ‘sensitive’ and care a lot about wording and shit. it’s not like we’re whiny baby idiots who can’t handle ‘the patriarchy and misogyny is bad’ unrelated its so crazy that when uterushaver5000 complains abt how they’re called a transmisogynist for complaining about MEN!! you click on their blog and they’re a transmisogynist. like who would’ve been able to guess (this is sarcasm)

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

Radfems and Alt-right'ers aligning with each other is one of the most incredible things to come out of the 21st century lmao

[sambuchito]

I’m envious of the anonymity men have in their work like you could be an artist or architect or photographer or web developer or engineer and in most cases your work will always speak for itself rather than being tied directly to your appearance, no need for shaving or spend hours putting make up but if you’re a woman you are your appearance and then your profession. You’re an artist and also a woman? No, you are a female artist, an entirely different thing lol They won’t ever let you forget you are a woman first and foremost